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169.3 #2246 DL Qual #1445 9-15-11 12:46AM
Epic argument with the fiance now...I'm scared of getting married almost everyone I know had gotten divorced including parents and grandparents...i know this isn't a disney post but anyone have some advice about making marriages work and when to know your ready?
@islandariel i don't have any advice but I really hope everything get better for you - justReggie   154.0 #2480 9-15-11 12:49AM Like  Reply
Thanks reggie - Islandariel   169.3 #2246 9-15-11 12:52AM Like  Reply
i've been in your shoes. unfortunately it didn't work out. But my only advice is to be patient, give it time and always do your best to talk it out. There was actually a study that said that couples who argued earlier on in their marriages were statistically more likely to stay together the longest. Why? Because they worked on resolving their arguments and compromise with each other. Of course, these are just numbers and everyone is different, but it still holds a bit of truth. I am a firm believer of things happen for a reason. - dphizz   166.8 #2282 9-15-11 12:55AM Like  Reply
Let the lil things go....be fair to one another.... - sweetnerdiheartmickey   252.2 #1184 9-15-11 12:55AM Like  Reply
How long have you been together - sweetnerdiheartmickey   252.2 #1184 9-15-11 12:57AM Like  Reply
2 1/2 yrs - Islandariel   169.3 #2246 9-15-11 1:01AM Like  Reply
I'm not married but I've been with my bf for 5 yrs and lived together for almost 4 yrs and its hard but if you work together and help each other its a give and take - sweetnerdiheartmickey   252.2 #1184 9-15-11 1:07AM Like  Reply
Try to not fight about the small things that bug you....I know its hard but look at the bigger pic... when I'm mad I walk away for a few hours I don't say anything because I don't want to say something I want to regret later - sweetnerdiheartmickey   252.2 #1184 9-15-11 1:12AM Like  Reply
My husband and I keep each other laughing even in rough situations and always talk...we make our marriage fun and serious at the same time! Find new things to bond over! I love being married beat thing I ever did! - danickidy   44.0 #4469 9-15-11 1:18AM Like  Reply
Always keep your relationship between you 2 sometimes people try to get involved when they shouldn't and it just adds more problems take advice but never let them all the way in, and always talk things out with eachother one thing me and mu husband do is okay something's bothering you right here right now let's talk it out and it always works never let it linger around it just gets bigger ...I've been with him since I was 15... 9yrs later still togethr and happily married! - Jackie211   472.7 #380 9-15-11 1:20AM Like  Reply
Don't get married unless you are 100% sure it is right. Later on it is more difficult to get out when there are other things involved (house, kids, etc). - luvlilo   19.9 #6177 9-15-11 1:30AM Like  Reply
@Jackie my bf and I do similar things like you - sweetnerdiheartmickey   252.2 #1184 9-15-11 1:30AM Like  Reply
Try not to compare your relationship to those of others in your life. If you do, you are only setting yourself up for a self-fulfilling prophesy. Instead, clear your mind of how the relationships between others in your life have worked, and focus on yours. And don't lie to yourself either. Allow your true feelings to surface so that you can make the best decision for you. I hope everything works out well for you. Hang in there. Best wishes. - flounderinaround   6.8 #11595 9-15-11 1:43AM Like  Reply
Premarital counseling. Get on the same game plan before you get married. Good luck! I highly recommend marriage, BTW. Wish we did this. Would've smoothed out 1st year considerably. - Benn   52.2 #4202 9-15-11 1:53AM Like  Reply
Honestly if u didn't think ur ready u shouldn't hv said YES - DisneyFan(tasmic)   189.9 #1962 9-15-11 2:02AM Like  Reply
Don't ask me! I've been married twice and couldn't make either one work! - Zipitydoodahdad   269.0 #1026 9-15-11 2:09AM Like  Reply
Mine dumped me on Monday because he was doubting our relationship. Plus he lies a lot. So I'm no help. - miss_rachel   120.2 #3010 9-15-11 2:41AM Like  Reply
Well if you have to ask...maybe ur doubting it working out anyway. Love just is, no questions. You'll know if you found the right one. Trust ur instincts, despite hurt feelings. - crazy4DL   99.2 #3361 9-15-11 3:58AM Like  Reply
Been married 11 1/2 years, compromise and communication are the key! Pick your battles - everything can't be that important to you! You don't always have to win either. If it is right, you will know. If something is nagging that something isn't right, listen to it because maybe there is someone better for you out there. GOOD LUCK and I hope you find what you are looking for. - disneykdn   108.9 #3214 9-15-11 4:35AM Like  Reply
I have been married over 33 yrs and my advice is make decisions that are best for your relationship first, best for your partner second, and then best for you third. If each of you can do that you will be just fine. As always add a healthy dose of Disney. - bkpottsdvc   142.0 #2660 9-15-11 5:07AM Like  Reply
Wow some people here have great advice and wise wisdom...wish I heard them when I was 21 and engaged, then I wouldn't be divorced now because back then I had a gut feeling that I shouldn't, so follow your gut..I don't regret my son but I know I was afraid I wouldn't find someone else who would love me. Make sure you're getting married because you absolutely love each other. Because when divorce is lingering it's that LOVE for each other that breaks it or makes it stronger. I know many who nearly divorced but they had so much love for each other they found a way to resolve their problem. I thought I loved my ex, but really I loved that he loved me and that wasn't enough. So follow your heart and listen to your gut feeling. - MarshaMouse   3640.0 #25 9-15-11 6:14AM Like  Reply
My grandparents were married for 65 years, my parents are going on 30 years...I got married when I was younger even though I KNEW I shouldn't, If your gut is telling you something then listen to it!, fast forward 6 years and I finally found the right person who I have not one single doubt with. Marriage is hard and people fight, Talk things out and never go to bed mad. good luck - Krisseee   22.7 #5840 9-15-11 6:36AM Like  Reply
My advice DON"T if you do post all your problems on FB. - Katrayher   764.5 #192 9-15-11 8:21AM Like  Reply
Don't air your dirty laundry. Keep your personal problems private. Men hate to have their business put on blast. - Mrsblue   692.7 #220 9-15-11 8:25AM Like  Reply
What MrsBlue said. You will argue and fight till the day you die. Unless you're SIC and MrSIC. Otherwise, you both have to learn how to let it go, forgive, forget, and continue to become a "family". People treat marriage like it is a relationship. It is family. You don't run from family. - HotDiggityDogDaddy   1113.1 #120 9-15-11 8:29AM Like  Reply
Love, Trust and Pixie Dust....communicate and be sure you are on the same page when it comes to what you see in your future and agree on it! but most of all be honest! if you are not ready then dont do it if you think you will regret it later! You should feel it in your heart and absolutely dont air your dirty laundry! Good Luck! - yellowtonka   241.4 #1309 9-15-11 8:32AM Like  Reply
No pain no gain. No risk no reward. If your not ready don't do it. If you are, then go ahead. Note: getting married won't change things, so if your having problems now they won't magically disappear when you say "I do". And what the heck oes this have to do with Disney? - Zooter   1379.5 #88 9-15-11 8:34AM Like  Reply
I'm so sorry to hear this. I feel this need to help now and ask all sorts of "counselor" type questions, but MrsBlue is right. I do however see where you could feel helpless right now and may not know where to turn. In my opinion, if this type of thing is common, it might only get worse. But H3D is right, MrSIC and I don't really fight. There will always be disagreements from time to time, but so far non that we feel the need to have a full blown fight over. I hope things get better for you guys, and maybe it's a one time thing, there can be added stress planning a wedding? - Sweet_Irish_Cream   3652.1 #24 9-15-11 8:38AM Like  Reply
I think if you are having any doubts, and you are bc you brought it up, take more time. And DO follow your gut-how often do we ignore it and wished othrwise? And iit agree with with MrsBlue on the airing the dirt. I was once asked if I wanted to go out with some new moms to have a drink and husband bash. I said "no" so fast. You will have to deal with what you've told people after its over and things are peaches - HandMeAChurroImmaFaint   3398.5 #26 9-15-11 8:46AM Like  Reply
Sorry that was jumbled. My DROID adds words after I complete a post and edit it. - HandMeAChurroImmaFaint   3398.5 #26 9-15-11 8:50AM Like  Reply
mrsblue and Katrayher....wow..took the words right out of my mouth...love you ladies...and H3D..you do say some wise things...every once in a while... - iyuzMickey   511.1 #340 9-15-11 8:53AM Like  Reply
Well said H3D. I like that. It is family. - JessicaRabbit33   669.3 #233 9-15-11 8:54AM Like  Reply
My parents were married for 18 years & have both been happily remarried for like 11. I got pregnant at 18 & got married trying to do the right thing. Divorced at 21. I have been married for almost 3 years now & together for almost 8. Divorces do happen all the time, but I know I am with my soul mate now. In your heart you just know. We were engaged for about 2 years. Didn't want to rush into it. We have a beautiful son together. As many divorces as there is there are also many marriages that succeed. Its work. Its not easy. There is compromising, being open with eachother, being there for eachother thru good & bad times. For me if your in love its worth taking the risk.otherwise you can have regrets the 21st of your - Splashmountgirl   337.1 #613 9-15-11 8:57AM Like  Reply
Not 21st I meant the rest of your life. Just always be there for eachother. I couldn't imagine not being with my hubby. I experienced so much at a young age, but I know what I have will last forever. - Splashmountgirl   337.1 #613 9-15-11 8:59AM Like  Reply